Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×

:iconoulipo-hobo: More from Oulipo-Hobo


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
June 22, 2008
File Size
2.3 KB
Thumb

Stats

Views
507
Favourites
5 (who?)
Comments
11
Downloads
10
×
Arnold, an architect, approachable, always amiable attire, amicable attitude.  An affordable address at Alabaster Avenue.  An accommodation amply adorned; ancient African artefacts and abstract articles attained at art auctions.  Arnold acted as administrator at Abel Architecture Association.  Always awake and attentive, awaiting academics after apartment amendments and adjustments.  An answerphone assembled at agency, angry amber Aldebaran, an alarm appearing as an alternating apparition, awaiting attention.

An August afternoon, Arnold aches after accelerated aerobics alongside another associate, astonishingly active and agèd.  Aspirational, Arnold applied all ardour and attempted acrobatics at Artichoke Ahletics Arena.  Arrogant arseholes arrived around, acting apelike, augmented abdominals, assuming attractiveness.  An aerobics assistant aided Arnold at all activities and Arnold adored all approaches. After an awkward accident, Arnold aggressively attacked apparatus and arm abrasions appeared.  Arnold altered.  Arnold abhorred all actions and ambled away.

Answerphone alive and awake.  Arnold approaching anthropological absence; anxious, atrabilious.  At an arched abutment aquarelle, Arnold averted attentions.  An aeroplane advanced across Arnold’s augen.  Arnold avoided actual answerphone.  Arnold, aware as Alderbaran always aflame, anticipated argumentative askers acquiring answers.  Arnold appreciated all askers, as all aspire advice, although Arnold abominated aiding again and again.  Arnold, altruistic and apathetic, an abstraction about another atlas and atmosphere absorbed Arnold’s attention.  Away.  Alone.  Absent.  

Arnold absconded, aseity at armslength.  Alcohol abundantly absorbed, Arnold’s azygous, almost ataxic.  All’s awry as Arnold’s astray, adrift.  An autoroute appears appealing; an adventure almost.  Automobiles ambulate apace, accelerating.

Astatically ascending an archway, anonymously Arnold awaits angels.
Oulipo - tautogram

---------------

Number 5 - Seeking Solace [link]

---------------

Aldebaran = A star in the Taurus constellation.

atrabilious = Gloomy, morose, melancholic.

abutment = A masonry mass supporting and receiving the thrust of part of an arch or vault.

aquarelle = A watercolour painting.

augen = 'Eyes' in German.

aseity = Existence.

azygous = Single.

ataxic = Losing coordination of the muscles.

astatically = Unstable, unsteady.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconfailingjune:
failingjune Aug 16, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer

"Astatically ascending an archway, anonymously Arnold awaits angels. "

 

Lovely.

Reply
:iconsunflowerteeth:
I thought it was an excellent experiment in the use of sound. And naturally its impressive technical skill sort of blinds out any minor criticism I could come up with.

On that note I do find myself more enraptured by the idea and the craft than in the subject (but that's a matter of taste and not quality!) Arnold himself didn't capture me, nor did the a repetition in that organized and clinical way seem to particularly connect with Arnold's plight for me, but the poem itself did enough for me to read it twice, so the ends do justify the means!

Thanks for producing such a fun piece of work and letting us all witness it!
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
This was really, really good.
I almost didn't realise in the first paragraph that you were only using "a" words, but for a few bits where it's a little awkward. In fact, that could be applied to the whole thing: it's brilliant at telling a story, and building a character, but there are places where it's a little awkward.

I'll show you what I mean. First paragraph:

"Arnold, an architect, approachable, always amiable attire, amicable attitude. An affordable address at Alabaster Avenue. An accommodation amply adorned; ancient African artefacts and abstract articles attained at art auctions. Arnold acted as administrator at Abel Architecture Association. Always awake and attentive, awaiting academics after apartment amendments and adjustments."

You could make use of the repeated phrases here: you have "Arnold, description. Always something." Perhaps you could highlight that?
Also, the first sentence, punctuation-wise. Why not make it into a statement, as if you're firmly pronouncing this character, like so:

"Arnold: an architect. Approchable, always amiable, always amicable."

Or something similar. You could then continue later with:

"Arnold: an administrator at Abel Architecture Association. Always awake, always attentive, awaiting academics after apartment amendments and adjustments."

Hopefully you get the gist of what I mean there. xD Feel free to ignore me, it's only my opinion after all!

But don't ignore this bit:
it's really quite good. :D
Reply
:iconoulipo-hobo:
Thank you :) I'm glad you managed to read all of this without going cross-eyed!

I totally understand where you're coming from with your comments :) I like your idea. When I'm feeling brave enough to reread this, I'll tweak some bits :D
Reply
:iconwonderfulrachel:
Awwh, I'm glad I could help! :)

Do let me know when / if you tweak it, I really enjoyed reading it...Might give it a bash at some point, it sounds like a real challenge.

-great respect-
Reply
:iconbluespartanofvgc:
I bet this was a great deal of fun to write. :p How long did it take you to bang out such an amazingly awesome piece?
Reply
:iconoulipo-hobo:
Hahaha, it was quite fun but I also went a bit cross-eyes while doing it! I don't think it took me that long. I know I wrote it all in a day but did have to edit it a couple of times. I keep wanting to write more like this but these blimmin' Oulipo things do keep hurting my brain! :giggle:

Oh, and thank you for saying that it's amazingly awesome :highfive:
Reply
:iconbluespartanofvgc:
Anytime! :dance:

It was a fun read. ;p
Reply
:iconoulipo-hobo:
Hahaha, and you didn't go crosseyed reading it?
Reply
Add a Comment: